Freebirthing

Imagine, if you will, that the various methods/techniques of giving birth (that I am aware of) could be placed on a scale of meat-eating...

21st century birthing (the-smacked-off-your-tits-on-every-drug-in-the-hospital method) is your average, omnivorous diet with lashings of sweet sweet cooked flesh. That is what the majority choose.

Hypnobirthing in a hospital is a Vegetarian who loves the carrot, but flirts with the seductive joys of fish when the occasion arises.

Hypnobirthing at home is the Vegetarian happily in a monogamous relationship with the carrot.

Homebirthing is the Vegan willing to bend the rules and grab a glass of milk if their life depended on it.

Freebirthing is the militant Vegan who imposes their will on yours because every other method is evil. Man.

You can tell then, that having had a day to reflect on things, I'm very firmly of the opinion that Freebirthing is bad mojo.

I watched a TV show last night about women who choose to have their baby without any pain relief, medical attention or even a midwife on standby. Now, I'm all for women who know their own bodies and want to give birth in the way that is most comfortable for them, but I am also naturally cautious. None of the women seemed to consider that they might hemorrhage, that the placenta might be blocking the exit or other complications that could require (dare I say it!) a Caesarean. In the ten minutes it would take an ambulance to get there, their baby and possibly themselves, would be dead.

It's not so much stupid, as just plain irresponsible.

Have your birth as you want, have no pain relief if that's your ideal, have your partner be the one who delivers it at home, but for christ's sake - just have a midwife or someone who knows what they are doing in the next room or behind a closed door, or something.

Please.