I'm supposed to be talking to Mal Jr while he's swimming around in Mrs Mal's lady bits, playing him music, shining a torch or tapping out War and Peace using Morse Code on my good lady's stomach.
Problem is, I'm not that sort of person.
I love my wife and I love my unborn child but I'm not going to talk at a stomach. In the meantime, I'll do my best to make life as comfortable for her as possible.
Poor bugger's going to have me talking at him for the rest of his life. Reckon he should enjoy the silence while he has the chance.
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